I didn’t miss her.
On her first day of daycare, I felt relief—real, full-bodied, guilty relief. I moved through my day without being pulled on. I had thoughts I finished. Emails I replied to without a toddler rage fit launching off my lap. For the first time in a long time, I breathed deeply without needing to count how long it would last.
And even as I felt that, I also felt the familiar chorus echoing in my head—“Enjoy it. Don’t blink. It goes by so fast.”
It does. It has. I feel like I was pregnant, took a long nap where I didn’t sleep, and woke up with a toddler.
But here's the thing: having space actually helps me savor her more. That space lets me miss her a little. To look forward to seeing her face at the end of the day, not just because I have to, but because I get to. Parenting, like everything else real and worthwhile, is a constant “both/and.” I’m grateful and I'm tired. I miss her and I needed the break.
My daughter is—how should I say this—very attached. My wife has had to gently, lovingly carve out space for herself in what a friend once called our “divine collaboration.” And that collaboration? It’s only ever been on Frankie’s terms. If you’re in her bubble without consent, you might get smacked. (And honestly, same.)
This stage feels like one long release of default expectations. I thought I’d feel one way, and I feel another. I thought missing her would feel heavier. I thought relief would feel wrong. Instead, I just feel real.
This is the kind of conversation we have in our Brave Birth childbirth education classes—the kind that doesn’t make it into a hospital pamphlet. The kind that says “Hey, you might not cry when daycare starts, and that doesn’t mean you love your baby less.” We talk about parenting as a layered, human experience. We prepare for birth and everything after. We make space for first-time parents and growing families to practice this dance of both/and.
✨ Our next class is coming up—small group, big support. Just 6 couples max.
✨ You’ll leave feeling prepared, not panicked. Grounded, not Googling.
✨ And yes, our workbook is packed with the stuff you actually need.
Come join us. Your parenting journey deserves honesty, community, and tools that help you thrive.
📚 Class details & signup here: www.bravebirth.com/childbirth-class
📷 Follow along for more stories & tips: @bravebirthdoula
